Too Hip To Hate Hipsters

        Ironically enough, it would appear to be quite hip to hate hipsters lately. I'm sure I would join in but, I don't know what a hipster is. And it seems those who abhore them are not quite certain either being that when I ask anyone 'What is a hipster' I get a different answer almost every time.
       This is not to say that I dislike those who dislike hipsters, or that I, in turn love hipsters. Nope. I simply do not know what a hipster is. All I can tell from people's tones is that I am supposed to hate them. Here, for your entertainment, are just some of the definitions I've heard. I've chosen the most common answers I've heard so as not to take up all your time:

1.  Someone who liked something before it was "cool" and becomes resentful of those who grow to like the same thing later. If this is what a hipster is, I think there is a problem with hating these people. Let's say you loved a band (to avoid any preconceived notions of "coolness" or "lameness" I shall make up a band: BARN TOAD) and when you talked about how awesome BARN TOAD was, nobody listened or they acted like you were dumb for liking such an unknown band. Then, BARN TOAD did a song for the soundtrack of HENRY THE GREAT FACE (I made up this movie, too) and they exploded, showing up on every depressed kids T-Shirt and when you went to a party people would come up and act as they though they were the greatest source for BARN TOAD knowledge there ever was. They even talk down to you as though you've never liked them when you liked them "Before it was cool to like them". Then you get called a hipster because everyone else jumped on the bandwagon whereas you researched enough to know about them when everyone else was waiting to be told by the media that it was now time to like this band. I could see getting peeved about that. Why would I hate you for that? Next.
2. I have also heard some say a hipster is someone who just doesn't like ANYTHING that is popular yet LOVES anything that is not popular. Clearly, there are better ways to judge something. However, there are worse ways, too. What if someone only liked something if it smelled of rotted beef? That would be worse, gang. Plus, most of the world is dumb. So while not everything popular is dumb, most things are. Why? Because they were chosen by "the masses", the same group of folks who got really excited when they realized they could say "Yeah Baby" well enough to be recognized as someone who, indeed, had watched Austin Powers. The idea I keep hearing is, "Yeah, Tony, but these people are just pretending to not like popular things so that they will seem cool." You don't know that. You can't see into their brain. Maybe they genuinely feel that way.  I don't see any reason to hate someone because they like unpopular things. 

     Now maybe I have heard wrong. Maybe these rules of thumb do not define what a hipster is at all. But if I heard right, I see the hatred as just another form of the popular kids beating up on the nerds. I know, I know. The nerds say they are not hipsters. But nowadays, few who say they are nerds actually are. For the first time in history, being called a "nerd" is not such a bad thing. But what I am noticing is that is because we have stretched the definition to mean anyone with a deep interest in something. When I was growing up, the kid who smelled funny, memorized the Table of Elements and collected dead butterflies was a nerd and people were mean to him because he was different. Now, I hear people say they are a nerd because they bought a Star Wars Coffee Mug. Really? I don't think so. Maybe when I was a kid and loving Star Wars meant you loved 3 movies and a line of Kenner Action Figures. But now, after 6 movies, a cartoon show, thousands of parodies online and in various forms of media, Star Wars is huge, awesome and beloved by even more millions than before. Now if you got a 'Legend of Boggy Creek' mug, a 'Buckaroo Banzai' toy, or a 'Teen Witch' purse...maybe then I would've called you a nerd (and wanted to hang out).
    See, what happened, I think, is society noticed on some subconscious level that the marginalized people, while ridiculed regularly, seemed to be defended sometimes in the media. They felt left out. They wanted to get the sympathy. So now the cool kids have to pretend to be nerds and dis the Actual Nerds who like the unpopular things to continue the same "let's pick on egghead" game that's been getting played for centuries.
     In conclusion, the smart kids, i.e. the REAL nerds, they love the stuff that gets them mocked. Nowadays if I am understanding things correctly, they are called Hipsters...or is it nerds? I can't tell. All I do know is, they are the ones with the BARN TOAD shirt all by themselves at the party. All they have to do is wait until the mainstream kids fall in line, change and allow the mainstream to accommodate them and begin to like BARN TOAD, too. Then, the nerd can forgive them for their stupidity. Or Hell....if he harbors any resentment, he can just fire them.

written by Tony Santiago, all rights reserved. Follow me on Twitter @BansheeMilk