Too Hip To Hate Hipsters

        Ironically enough, it would appear to be quite hip to hate hipsters lately. I'm sure I would join in but, I don't know what a hipster is. And it seems those who abhore them are not quite certain either being that when I ask anyone 'What is a hipster' I get a different answer almost every time.
       This is not to say that I dislike those who dislike hipsters, or that I, in turn love hipsters. Nope. I simply do not know what a hipster is. All I can tell from people's tones is that I am supposed to hate them. Here, for your entertainment, are just some of the definitions I've heard. I've chosen the most common answers I've heard so as not to take up all your time:

1.  Someone who liked something before it was "cool" and becomes resentful of those who grow to like the same thing later. If this is what a hipster is, I think there is a problem with hating these people. Let's say you loved a band (to avoid any preconceived notions of "coolness" or "lameness" I shall make up a band: BARN TOAD) and when you talked about how awesome BARN TOAD was, nobody listened or they acted like you were dumb for liking such an unknown band. Then, BARN TOAD did a song for the soundtrack of HENRY THE GREAT FACE (I made up this movie, too) and they exploded, showing up on every depressed kids T-Shirt and when you went to a party people would come up and act as they though they were the greatest source for BARN TOAD knowledge there ever was. They even talk down to you as though you've never liked them when you liked them "Before it was cool to like them". Then you get called a hipster because everyone else jumped on the bandwagon whereas you researched enough to know about them when everyone else was waiting to be told by the media that it was now time to like this band. I could see getting peeved about that. Why would I hate you for that? Next.
2. I have also heard some say a hipster is someone who just doesn't like ANYTHING that is popular yet LOVES anything that is not popular. Clearly, there are better ways to judge something. However, there are worse ways, too. What if someone only liked something if it smelled of rotted beef? That would be worse, gang. Plus, most of the world is dumb. So while not everything popular is dumb, most things are. Why? Because they were chosen by "the masses", the same group of folks who got really excited when they realized they could say "Yeah Baby" well enough to be recognized as someone who, indeed, had watched Austin Powers. The idea I keep hearing is, "Yeah, Tony, but these people are just pretending to not like popular things so that they will seem cool." You don't know that. You can't see into their brain. Maybe they genuinely feel that way.  I don't see any reason to hate someone because they like unpopular things. 

     Now maybe I have heard wrong. Maybe these rules of thumb do not define what a hipster is at all. But if I heard right, I see the hatred as just another form of the popular kids beating up on the nerds. I know, I know. The nerds say they are not hipsters. But nowadays, few who say they are nerds actually are. For the first time in history, being called a "nerd" is not such a bad thing. But what I am noticing is that is because we have stretched the definition to mean anyone with a deep interest in something. When I was growing up, the kid who smelled funny, memorized the Table of Elements and collected dead butterflies was a nerd and people were mean to him because he was different. Now, I hear people say they are a nerd because they bought a Star Wars Coffee Mug. Really? I don't think so. Maybe when I was a kid and loving Star Wars meant you loved 3 movies and a line of Kenner Action Figures. But now, after 6 movies, a cartoon show, thousands of parodies online and in various forms of media, Star Wars is huge, awesome and beloved by even more millions than before. Now if you got a 'Legend of Boggy Creek' mug, a 'Buckaroo Banzai' toy, or a 'Teen Witch' purse...maybe then I would've called you a nerd (and wanted to hang out).
    See, what happened, I think, is society noticed on some subconscious level that the marginalized people, while ridiculed regularly, seemed to be defended sometimes in the media. They felt left out. They wanted to get the sympathy. So now the cool kids have to pretend to be nerds and dis the Actual Nerds who like the unpopular things to continue the same "let's pick on egghead" game that's been getting played for centuries.
     In conclusion, the smart kids, i.e. the REAL nerds, they love the stuff that gets them mocked. Nowadays if I am understanding things correctly, they are called Hipsters...or is it nerds? I can't tell. All I do know is, they are the ones with the BARN TOAD shirt all by themselves at the party. All they have to do is wait until the mainstream kids fall in line, change and allow the mainstream to accommodate them and begin to like BARN TOAD, too. Then, the nerd can forgive them for their stupidity. Or Hell....if he harbors any resentment, he can just fire them.

written by Tony Santiago, all rights reserved. Follow me on Twitter @BansheeMilk
   

How To Talk To Animals

This is me testing to see if a "very realistic" cat will respond positively to sweet talk. I am Tony Santiago. I am talking to it.  It is talking to me.  I suppose that makes this a cat video.

12 Facts You Didn't Know About Tony Curtis

1. Tony Curtis was in the classic comedy 'Some Like It Hot', a film that, in reality, only showcased the lifestyles of those who like things hot. At the time of it's release, many rallies were held protesting the lack of characters who enjoy things cold but it was the 50s. Sadly, their cries went unheard by Tony Curtis even, who was wearing earmuffs at the time.
2. Tony's daughter, Jamie Lee Curtis had a nervous breakdown due to stress caused by reading the title page on the script for her film 'True Lies', convulsing in in pain and screaming "How can lies be true?!?" Luckily her father was there to stare at her and roll his eyes.
3. On the set of 'Operation Petticoat', Tony Curtis told Cary Grant that they should have a handsome contest to see who would win. Cary agreed and began combing his hair frantically. Tony did the same and rumor has it the heat generated by their scorching good looks caused the cameras on the set to stop working. Other rumors persist that the cameramen were simply annoyed and turned off the cameras. There is no footage and we may never know.
4. The death of Tony Curtis came as a complete shock to both his adoring fans AND his body which up until that point had always been alive.
5. Tony Curtis was not given his name by accident. His TONE was often CURT, and he had on more than one occasion used the word IS in a sentence. However it took years for his parents to notice these quirks so until the age of 3 he went by the name 'Baby Who Coos Rather Nicely'.
6. The 'It' referred to in the title 'Some Like It Hot' was Fried Chicken.
7. Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis did not get along on the set of their hit film 'The Defiant Ones'. This was mostly due to the fact that Tony Curtis wanted to play "The Black Guy".
8. The movie 'The Vikings' starred Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas and is considered to be a classic. The culture 'The Vikings', starred a bunch of giant bearded men who drank mead and laughed heartily whilst on boats that looked like dragons. This has been, "What I Know About Vikings" with your pal, Tony Santiago. Thanks for joining us.
9. Upon his death, Tony Curtis had always known that his eternal soul would would ascend to Heaven on a field of translucent light, basking in it's beautiful amber glow as Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" played gently on harps of grace. Tony Curtis was wrong, though. Heaven only plays recordings of Buckner & Garcia's "Pac-Man Fever' repeatedly. Go to Hell if you don't like it.
10. Tony Curtis was, at one time, married to actress Janet Leigh, who was perhaps best known for her role in Alfred Hitchcock's 'PSYCHO' in which she played the timeless character of "Showers McStab-Stab."
11. It is not uncommon for older people who watch 'Some Like It Hot'  to comment 2 or even 3 times about the fact that Tony Curtis looked better in drag than his costar Jack Lemmon. Scientists believe that this is no coincidence, that there is a logical explanation and that is: "Old people are all kind of sketchy and gay."
12. Tony Curtis would like us to remember him for his performances both on and off screen and not for how awesome his daughters boobs were in the 80s and 90s. She's all about that poop yogurt now, huh? I mean yogurt that helps you poop, not yogurt made from poop. Why would she be into that? that's just crazy talk. Remember that part in 'Trading Places' when she took her top off? Dan Akroyd was getting paid. He was at work that day!! Can you believe that? I bet he couldn't stop high-fiving people all day. Also, he was in Ghostbusters. R.I.P. Tony Curtis.

written by Tony Santiago, all rights reserved. 

CANDY BOY

                      This is a kid-friendly poem/cartoon I made for Halloween. It's about a boy made of Candy who wants to go Trick or Treating but it is a difficult endeavor. Share it with your friends!
written by Tony Santiago, all rights reserved

Head For A Useful hat.

Head for the door.
I bought it at a Hobby Shop and I think it goes well.
Head for the door.
The wrong way to deal with a problem.
Head for a useful hat.
To fill it with skull and give it purpose.
Head for a useful hat.
And put it on.
You look like a cure for what ails me, baby.

written by Tony Santiago, all rights.

DARTH VADER CARVES A PUMPKIN

Lord Darth Vader carves a pumpkin. I'm sure you can guess the cool way he does it. But can you guess what design he carves??? No, you cannot. So check it out.
written by Tony Santiago, all rights reserved, share this with friends

Halloween Costumes QUICK!

     I thought about wearing my Andy Rooney getup for Halloween. Then I pondered being Nick Nolte or Noam Chomsky. Halloween is easy for hippies, I bet. They already kinda act like zombies. Just put some fake blood at the mouth and they're ready to go. I probably won't dress up but if I do, here are some options I am pondering:
1. Burt Reynolds.
2. The Ghost Steve Jobs (he's a friendly ghost)
3. Batman Eating Toast (I like keeping toast with me)
4. Sanchez (a guy I just made up so I could walk around doing a cool spanish accent)

     I have never understood why some costumes are considered "Wrong" to do. Like Hitler. Sure he's evil. But so is Dracula. Now some may argue, "Hey Tony, Hitler was real. Dracula is not."
Fine. Then what about Vlad the Impaler, a real guy that Dracula was based on. Nobody would get mad at that yet, Hitler is not cool? I don't wanna dress up as Hitler. I just think it should be allowed.
Really, I want to be Orville Redenbacher. Like Batman, he was a good guy who could come off a tad creepy. (Cuz he would chew as he stared into the camera smiling.)

written by Tony Santiago, share this, Dammit!