"The Sloppy Joe Conundrum."

              I just saw a Sloppy Joe commercial and noticed they always show someone after a bite of Sloppy Joe(or Manwich as the case may be)wipe their mouth with their hands....no napkins.
I think the defense seems to be,                                                                                                  
"It's okay to be a filthy mess, America. It's called a Sloppy Joe!!!"
This is caca logic at best.
Yes, the sandwich is called that but, not everyone eating it is.

             It's not like if Sloppy Joes were called Whore Joes this would make prostitution legal. I doubt brothels in Nevada could dispense with getting licensed and just require their employees eat a Whore Joe once a day.
I just can't see a cop about to arrest a lady of the night going, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't see the Whorewich. You go on blowing people for cash since you're just doing what this fine corporate meal told you to do."

            Is this why people get mad at Hooters? Am I on to something here? Because I always hear people(and by people, I mean women)whining that the girls at Hooters have large chests. Now, I could see if Toys R Us didn't hire you because you weren't top heavy enough for them, you definitely have grounds for a lawsuit. But at Hooters? Look, I haven't been to Hooters....in the last hour.
           And anyone who discriminates against a woman for having small breasts is a dirtbag who should be pounced on by large steel toed kangaroos, but to get mad at the mere existence of well-endowed women at a place that is called Hooters is to be mad at all the tacos at a place called Taco Bell. You have to admit, it's not a bad name for the forum. They could have been skeevy about it and given it an innocent name like 'Sanitary Berts'.....(okay, I admit that is kinda creepy)but, no. They said, "Hey!! We have a theme going here! We could call this place 'Family Food Haven' or we could be straight up with our customers and call it 'Boob Hut' or 'Hooters'. The sign can serve as a potential warning even. Don't come in if you are afraid of breasts or owls."

           Yes, I am certain the Sloppy Joe issue is far more grave. Obviously, you could argue, "Hey, Tony! They are just being honest, too. Hence the word "Sloppy'."
           I get that, folks. But, Hooters does not come into my living room while I am watching TV.
Sloppy Joe ads do. Weird meat and sauce drips from the ghastly fangs of actors who bite into these terror hoagies with wild and wanton abandon. Suddenly I am forced to have the talk with my children. You know the one.

"Sorry, Kids. Some people obey and attempt to live up to a sandwiches name as though it is scripture read aloud by Oprah herself."

Perhaps if people feel a need to act as though the adjective present in a foodstuff's name should define the manner in which they consume said product then, Sloppy Joes could be renamed 'Sanitary Berts' for the sake of manners.

And if they want, Hooters could carry the Whore Joe sandwich. Just as an option.

written by Tony Santiago, all rights reserved.