"Uncle Keyhole's Sears Photo."

        
         I want to go to Sears and have them take my picture.
I'll pose in a position I'd never sit in normally, perhaps my right hand gently lying on top of my left.
Maybe I would wear a brightly colored dad sweater, my hair parted like a news anchor, a background of winter trees and the sun rising.  Who knows?
        But first I'll get a black eye and knock out a tooth. No need to clean the blood from my lip either. Hell, why not take the picture right after getting out of prison?
        Then I want you to frame me and put me on your television or piano. Tell inquiring visitors that I came with the frame. Tell them you found me while searching through an old abandoned house and took me home.
Show me to your ailing mother and say, "Isn't this a strange picture?"
        To which your mother would respond, "That's your Uncle Keyhole! Where did you find that?"

And then you would reply,"Ummm....in some old house....are you sure he"s family?'

And then your mother would go,"I'd know that face anywhere. He's my evil brother. Problem is.....this means he is still alive......and he sees you."

That's the kind of picture I want to take.

Screw it. I'm going to Sears right now."

                          written by tony santiago, all rights reserved